Starting to cleaning to make room, for the new things in my home and life. I have to remind myself that there is a mess before I will see real progress in cleaning both in my home and in life. Working on seeing the floor again in my home, and also my path in life. Baby steps.
Things are very slowly coming together. I can now unpack and make this my home, even if I have to move again in a few months. Will be able to start taking on freelance work again, in the beginning of the year. Think I figured out what classes I’m taking next semester and I’m going to be kissing my weekends good by till the end of April. Figuring out how to make sure I get on track on getting my ankle and my heath back.
That I’m growing and learning to just let things be. I remember my fire sword teacher, who trained me based on the art of Wushu, told me this amazing piece of advice, “Impatience is really fear. Fear that you will never get what you want.” I add on to the end of that piece of advice, “I might not get everything that I want, but I will always get what I need. For that, I am grateful.”
Meal prepping. It sounds silly but going out and buying food to make meals makes me happy. Haven’t had a real working kitchen for almost 11 months. I spend more money on buying food but I have to remind myself that it is still heather then eating out. I’m sure once I figure out what works, I can cut down the food bill. My new hobby is learning how to find recipes to make nutrition and efficient meal plans. Going to be playing with Quinoa, since I have a bag of that stuff.
Today, I made:
Gluten-free Creamy Parmesan-Garlic Quinoa (would make again)
Kale Salad w/ Lemon Dressing (didn’t love this recipe)
Tomorrow, I plan to make:
Brussels Sprouts Gratin
Mexican Meatball Soup
Avocado Sonoma Chicken Salad
Linguine with Garlic Oil and Pancetta (I love this recipe. Revisiting it.)
I’m happy that I only have the responsibility of taking care of myself. Don’t have a kid, not married, and currently don’t have an dependents including fur babies. It’s not that I want to be alone because I really would love a parter in my life right now, that I can lean on but I also realize that I wouldn’t be able to grow as much/fast as I could. Working on my career but keeping my heart open.
Understanding what is loneliness in a deeper level. I wasn’t able to make this connection with some of my friends on why they kept on getting into unhealthily relationships. My other friends told me, it’s because I’m not lonely that’s why I couldn’t understand it. I do get lonely but I’ve been alone so long, where it’s not a priory to address. Honesty, I’m not even sure how I would address it but the fear of getting hurt, makes me shelve dealing with it. It’s a huge break through to realize that.
This break from life for the past few days. With the clock ticking down till I return to real life again, I can start to feel the stress coming back. Need to sit down, figure out what are my priorities, work on dealing with my anixties (which are really just fears of failing), and working hard bird by bird to rebuild what I want for this part of my life. Begining to see enought darkness fall away to let in enough light to start lighting my path again.
This trip. Getting away from the environment that is stressing me out, is slowly getting me to relax, even with just one day left.
That I don’t have asses to a scale because I’m sure I put on weight. I’ll deal with the aftermath when I get home.
I was able to walk on my sprang ankle. Yes, I injured the nonsurgery ankle yesterday on an uneven sideway.
Dinner with my Peru trip roommate. The QOTD from her is “I rape cows 3 times a week.” She is getting her Phd in animal reproduction science.
Getting back on track:
Gym: 3 times a week for 30 mins to build endurance + Strengthen ankle.
Coding lessons: Weekday: one session (complete one test) per day
Clean out: One hour per day. Clean, store, donate, and trash. Goal is to cut down 50% of my stuff in case I have to move again in a few month.
Need to meal plan to eat regularly again. Here is some recipes I’ve been eyeing.
Lunch with two group of friends. Anther group of my friends happen to be in the area and join us for lunch.
Seeing Anna Rice’s old house and the crypt that inspired her for Interview with a Vampire book.
Having dinner and visiting an old historical plantation.
I’m in love with the garlic cheese bread we had for lunch. I’m sure it’s going to my waist and hips, but it’s worth it.
Carbs…I love you carbs but I need to eat less of you when I get home.
Self-care, as I’m rebuilding my life. I’ve been on pause for the past two years and I have to remind myself it’s not my fault. It’s time to reclaim me, rebuild my career, my health to the best that I can, and nurse back my spirit. It might take a long time, but it’s all I have on my side.
My friends. I love and adore them. My friend has my whole weekend planned to spend in New Orleans, with a printed itinerary that is laying on my bed.
Day one of my Foodie of New Orleans Tour. It was delish and I really need to hit the gym when I get back.
Making this trip happen. I really needed to get away for my own sanity and some time alone to figure things out. It’s weird to say I have alone time when I’m in a house with 3 other people and 2 huge dogs.
My spirit is healing. Still recovering from a “friend” broke me/my spirit. It’s weird when you realize that somebody once that you trusted can hurt you, then turn on you to be a stranger so quickly. I realize at the end, that need to stop seeking my validation through that person that I once held as a dear friend, and value myself.