Loving myself to value my own voice. I know there is a price to pay for doing that but I also realize that there are consequence.
Learning to slowly love my fat rolls.
I thought I knew what “love handles” where, till this round of my life. They are like tire rolls on the side of my body. I’m learning to love them because it means that I am beginning to lose some belly weight or they wouldn’t exist on my body. They are a marker that I am starting to get healthier as I am very slowly reaching my goal when I start to shrink to give rid of them. Learning to love the fat rolls.
Falling back in love with my life.
Despite with everything that hasn’t been working in the past few weeks. Dealing with not having a car for almost two weeks and not knowing if can be saved. The disappointment of not getting a car last night with the number so close. Not going into debt to buy a car. Being hit with a bunch of legal issues with my father’s estate during the holidays. Been struggling with a bunch of health issues over the past few months, and since I switch HMOs, I have to wait till my first appointment. Been resting a lot till then. Got anther warning, that I might have to move by June. As I was listening to the rain, I felt more content with my life.
Feeling really lucky, that have a roof over my head till June, and they got all the leaks fixed before I moved in. I have hot water in my shower now. I have some food storage. It might not be healthiest but it’s food. My car gave me a good 18 years. If it’s not savable, I’ll figure something out. I’m having people ask me about building or fixing their sites and it’s giving me inspire to look into new things to learn. Baby steps because my life will slow go to over drive by the next of the month till the end of April but it’s the path I choose to go on, not trying to survive the path that I had to deal with.
Feels like I’m stepping back into my own skin and path again. My goal for 2016 is keep on building the foundation for my new career, getting my health and body back in check, and keeping my spiritually in balance. Baby steps and I will get there.
Putting up bounders for my self care. I am on day seven without a car because my mechanic is on vacation till Monday. It’s been forcing me to reassess the way I live my life.
Learning to priorities things for less stress. I work part time on call, so I’m using lyft/uber due to my car. Due to the cost, I have to become more strategic. It is making me realize that “Drop everything to go,” mentality wastes a lot of time, while adding unnessary stress. Better time management and prioritizing for less stress.
Making my home functional for living. During the past month, I finally unpacked and storage things, so I can live in my home unit. Being stuck at home, I realize it wasn’t functional for me because I unpacked it just get by for basic living, but it was placed to be repacked easily incase I have to move again. Now that I’m starting to cook again, I’m trying to figure out what works and doesn’t. Making my home, my home instead of just a place to sleep till I move again.
I am pretty happy, it’s all slowly coming together. Next week I have a web project that I need to start working on.
Today is Day 1 of my Self-Love Diet.
Yesterday, I need to find a dress for a NYE party that I was invited to. I found myself talking down on my body when looking for a dress. Made myself doll up, which I haven’t done in years, and I had to remind myself even if I’m a bigger version of myself, that I’m still beautiful in my own way. Need to stop calling myself a Sea Cow. I’m just a plumper version of a ferret.
Today is the final day of my 100 days of Gratitude/Happiness challenge. My challenge was to keep doing it for 100 days even when I miss days at a time. Just to stick to something with the end goal and being ok of not being prefect about it as I kept at it. The past few years have taken a blow to my self confidence, but now it’s getting back to me and getting my confidence back. Today I’m starting in it’s place 31 of Self Love Diet today.