(Personal Post)Simplify my habits + Project 33

Simplify My Habits

Two hours daily routine
30 mins: Daily work on illustrator or Javascript skills.
30 min: Clean house + Donate/Get rid of stuff.
15 min each: Draw + Work on Blog + Ankle rehab + Self Care.

Twice a week: Meal planing + pull recipes with shopping list.
Read/AudioBook: Two per month. Ideally, weekly.

Project 333
“…is the minimalist fashion challenge that invites you to dress with 33 items or less for 3 months.”  – Courtney

“What: 33 items including clothing, accessories, jewelry, outerwear and shoes.”

“What not: these items are not counted as part of the 33 items – wedding ring or another sentimental piece of jewelry that you never take off, underwear, sleep wear, in-home lounge wear,  and workout clothing (you can only wear your workout clothing to workout).” I’m also excluding what I’m wearing for medical/health reasons like my scarves and jackets.

33 items:
5 pairs of Shoes
5 Dresses
3 Skirts
2 Pant (including Jeans)
1 Necklace (my sun one)
1 Earrings
3 Bags (Pineapple, main one, lunch cooler)
8 tops (two dress tops, 5 everyday)
–  with 5 items left




(Personal Post) Lessons Learned: Don’t look to deep.

A young woman is sitting on a rock by the sea

My lessons learned with grief are:

When you are facing death with loved ones or yourself, trying to process it is one of the normal reactions. One of the ways you can try to deal with grief and mourning, is try to make sense of it. Which is fine, but if you go to deep it can rob you of your joy, your personality,  and life. Sometimes being superficial and mundane is joy because it allows you to appreciate the simple things in life, sometimes that is what really does matter at the end.

Feeling too deep and caring too deep for other people, can cause drama unintentionally.  Most people aren’t in the same place as you. Losing a parent, or a loved one or coming close to your own death is an experience that not everybody has had to deal with in their own lives at this point. They can only sympathize, not empathize till they have gone through a similar journey.  They aren’t in the same space or place as you, and it’s ok but you also have to remember and respect that. Also be careful who you let in because not everybody who shows up is there to help.

My advice so far with grief that I learned that works for me is:

Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself.  There is no one fits all manual on how to deal with this and never will be. As long as you are learning, you haven’t wasted time. Sometimes looking deep is a great way to deal with things but it can cause overthinking, which can create problems that are never orignally there. It’s a balancing act that you learn with experanice.

Some people will say you are being dramatic, if your intention wasn’t to create drama, that’s more of a reflection on them than you. That’s also a sign that they aren’t the right person to be sharing deeper feelings with, even if they keep on telling you that they are. Learn to voice your emotions to somebody who understands that you are just venting till you figure things out, your safe person.

It’s ok to have mental health days or a week off but realize your goals and issues to tackle them.  Depression is normal. The thoughts and emotions associated with depression,  learn to cope with them and ride them out and if you have a safe support system, set that up.

Know that everybody has an opinion of you, and if they ain’t’ paying your bills, their’s don’t matter.  A good mantra to recite to yourself  “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”  Read The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz, and tape  the 4 rules to your mirror to read each morning.

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

agreement 1

Be impeccable with your word :
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally:
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions:
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4

Always do your best:
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.


Be kind to yourself…

beautiful young girl in little room. creative concept

Until you take care of your health, there is nothing alas you can do for others or your work. These past few years has been a challenge that I didn’t work a traditional 9-5 job. I prided myself on being the best hire gun I could be for my bosses. It was part of who I was, and walking away from that to put the needs of my family first, has been a mental challenge.

Came into WordPress as a hobby, which turned into a side job, that lead me into wanting to go into it full time. That is the road now that I am working on and I know it will take a few years.  When it was a side job, I was freelance and I sub contracted also but I was ashamed that I wasn’t progressing very far.  It was because I was tried, very tried because I was taking care of things for my family and wasn’t taking care of my own health.

Two years plus ago, when situations with my family when to total chaos after my then recent ankle surgery, I’ve been pretty hard on myself for not progressing very far on my coding.  Have to stop and pat myself on the back, I did the best I could, and I’m still here trying.  Never stopped because this is no longer just a hobby but it’s a passion. Need to stop hiding my code. People will laugh, and judged, but you know, what I have git and I will improve. Not only do I have to improve my mental health but my physical health.

Just weighted myself, I dropped 9.6 pounds since the beginning of the year. I would like to lose 6.4 pounds by my Bday, so I need to start working out (baby steps), and making a meal plan on what I eat. If I don’t, I will not cry over it, just keep on working on it. Ideally, after reaching that goal, I would like to drop anther 30 pounds to reach my pre ankle surgery weight. If it takes anther year, I don’t care as long as I do it healthy and correctly.  Have to keep the same mental status with my coding.

Some people told me it’s the hands of God/Fate/Universe that holds you back till it’s your time. I’m just going to sit here and fine tune my craft, my code, my body, my health, my mind till the path I create is being built. It’s never going to be prefect, but it’s my own path and I’m going to be walking it as I’m building it. There will be mistakes, but as long as I learn from them and don’t stop trying, that’s all the matters at the end.  People will judge, but that also means they are stopping to notice what you are doing.  If they aren’t stopping to help me improve, they are not important to me, and not part of my tribe I’m building a long the way.

Self Love Challenge: Day 16

Fantasy illustration with green arch and  red royal chair and  rabbit with  list

“Fall in love with a person who enjoys your madness. Not an idiot who forces you to be normal.” – Unknown

Love myself to be open to love. One of the things I am changing this year, is be open to love.  One of my friends said it has to be unconditional love.  Put it out there into the universe, that as I’m creating this chapter of my life, I want a romantic monogamous relationship with a man to have adventures with, to grow together with, that will not give up on me, that will take care of me, is proud of me, and somebody that I can adore and spoil.  It doesn’t have to end with marriage. A success relationship doesn’t have to last forever. That being said, I never been married, would like to be married once in my life and ideally staid married.

Need to break my pattern of being attract to emotionally unavailable men.  They are usually boys unwilling to man up, which makes them great friends. That’s what also stops me from allowing them to cross the friend zone, but my heart is anther story. My heart roots for the underdog/dark horse, but it’s a bad gamble and I’m too old for that. Also I’m not a side chick or an option. Do not degrade me as one.

Relationships aren’t prefect. It’s on going hard work. I’ve always said the prefect relationship is two unperfect people unwilling to give up on each other.   In the past few weeks, I realize I’m ready to start putting my heart out there and do the work. I’m not going out there for a hunt for a man, but I am being open to meet one or if things shift from a friendship, I’m willing to step forward and give it a try.  Life is scary and short.  I don’t want to keep on missing out because of fear of the pain from getting hurt.


Self Love Challenge: Day 15

discovering new places

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth

Loving myself to valuing myself more then others. I have a close friend who survived cancer. She said when you almost lose your life, you realize how limited it is. She told me that I’m one of the rare people she keeps close.  There is a chance that I might have inherited my mother’s terminal illnesses. I’m at the age where she was diagnosed with it and my health has started to fail these past few years.  Don’t want to get tested because there is no cure or proven treatment that works.

I tend to value others more then myself.  It’s partly because I was raised by my immigrant Grandmother, where in Asia it’s the We vs Me mentally we have in the western world. You treat the ones you love as family, and you do whatever you can for the. That’s why if I tell you I love you as family, it’s a higher place then just a friend. Also I’m a lioness and I’m sure there is self esteem issues in there also.  I’m also bad with verbal communication but I’m very good with non verbal communication. That is also an Asian cultural thing.  When I moved back from Hawai’i, I had to learn to verbalize what I need and I’m still working on it.

It’s not selfish to put your own needs first but stay humble and grateful. One of the things I am learning is that if somebody isn’t prioritizing you, put them on the back burner. Don’t waste your time with them and trying not to take a personally because they aren’t.

Self Love Challenge: Day 14

Child at the airport near the window looking at airplanes and waiting for time of flight.

Loving myself to let go of my pride. I got an emergency appoint with the doctor today due to my breathing issues. The nurse told me to have somebody drive me because my coughing and shortness of breath would be a hazard. The doctor’s office was a 15 min drive at most. I was like I can deal with it. Should have called a lyft or uber. I was coughing and gagging too much trying to breath. I still don’t know how to ask for help or when to.  I can’t keep on trying to do everything myself when my health is failing and I’m frustrate because I’m not great a verbal communication with my emotions.

Self Love Challenge: Day 12

stressed woman with computer, papers, calculator

Loving myself to be kind to myself. My coding skills is not where it once was. I took a few months off and I need to get back into the game. Need to stop talking down to myself but I hate that I’ve slipped. Each time I go to Dev Meetups and hang out with people who are doing Dev work, I really enjoy learning and see what they are doing. It inspires to me to do more. I think I need to figure out how to be in that environment more.

Self Love Challenge: Day 11

Set of fabulous items

“You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With”
-Jim Rohn

I need to love myself to shift into hanging out with more motivate people. Love my friends but a lot of them are at different points of their lives then I am.  Need people that are on the same path as I am to help motivate and grow me  as I can for them. The other problem is that I need to figure out and narrow down to what I want to do.


I forgive myself for:


  • trying to live up to other people’s expectations, instead of living up to mines.
  • putting the needs of other’s in front of mines and not taking care of myself.
  • letting fear rule me.
  • having imposter syndrome, and not patting myself on the back for all my amazing accomplishments.
  • not allowing me to be human when I make a mistakes. I allow everybody to make mistakes but me.
  • getting caught up in drama, because I care about the people involved.
  • not allowing my heart to fall in love in fear of being hurt.
  • allowing my father and his estate issues to rob me of over 1.5 years of my life and has take it’s toll on me, that I almost had a break down recently.

Need to keep on adding to list but this is a start.



The strongest women are often the weakest at heart…

Female hand holding heart shaped cup of coffee drinking, unusual high angle view

It’s funny how one simple lie from one person that I trusted dearly, can be the last straw that breaks me. Keep on telling myself suck it up, Buttercup but it’s not working. I know how to survive, and people mistake that for a strong heart but it is really so fragile from all the fractures. The only thing distracting me is work right now. Being more productive these days between the tears. Keeping low, and busy with my coding lessons while rebuilding two sites.

Looking forward to a cup of tea tonight as I’m listening to the rain. Am blessed that I enjoy what I am doing, learning, and eyeing.  Think I am going to start applying to speak to WordCamps, once I figure out what I have learned that is of value to other people.  Just because some people I deeply value, devalues me repeatedly,  I have to remind myself can still offer value to others and just grow forward.