If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.

discovering new places

There is apart of me that is freaking out that if this is all a mistake.  If the past almost 3 years of WordPress, and learning to code again. I am  pretty passionate about code and things related to web design and dev.  This front end dev program is a gamble with how much I’m giving up to complete this program. Then somehow I need to make this work into a career in the next few years…well, at the end of this year realistically.  Putting my personal life on hold since I have to take care of my mother, my own health, and focus on completing this front dev program.  I’ve been pouring from an empty cup for a long time and that’s why my health is so bad.

Am very surprised on the people who are stepping up to check on me and I am disappoint in a few, but really not surprised. Not one word from a few people that I once consider closer friends. Actions speak louder then words and it’s something to keep in mind moving forward. I used to confront people in hopes it’s a misunderstanding, but life is too short to keep on pleasing  people who have a history of not valuing you.

I don’t expect things to be handed to me after I finish this program but I need to brush on my front end dev skills and learn Javascript. Hopefully, in 9 weeks when this program is over, my health will be improve a little better. There is a lot of hustling that I need to do to get an internship and hopefully, land a job in a studio or company in the next year…hoping it will be closer to where I live.

One thing this whole thing has taught me is to value your time. There are a lot of people who are going nowhere, and take you with them, if you don’t have a clear goal. They aren’t looking out for you, but how you fit into their own needs, while making it look like they have your best interest in mind.  I’m choosing who I spend my time around very carefully because I don’t have much time to spare.  Can’t keep on pouring from an empty cup and I’ve been doing that for years. That’s why my health is really bad and I’m paying for it now. Slowly refilling my cup and being selective on who I pour out to.

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