Self Love Challenge: Day 15

discovering new places

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth

Loving myself to valuing myself more then others. I have a close friend who survived cancer. She said when you almost lose your life, you realize how limited it is. She told me that I’m one of the rare people she keeps close.  There is a chance that I might have inherited my mother’s terminal illnesses. I’m at the age where she was diagnosed with it and my health has started to fail these past few years.  Don’t want to get tested because there is no cure or proven treatment that works.

I tend to value others more then myself.  It’s partly because I was raised by my immigrant Grandmother, where in Asia it’s the We vs Me mentally we have in the western world. You treat the ones you love as family, and you do whatever you can for the. That’s why if I tell you I love you as family, it’s a higher place then just a friend. Also I’m a lioness and I’m sure there is self esteem issues in there also.  I’m also bad with verbal communication but I’m very good with non verbal communication. That is also an Asian cultural thing.  When I moved back from Hawai’i, I had to learn to verbalize what I need and I’m still working on it.

It’s not selfish to put your own needs first but stay humble and grateful. One of the things I am learning is that if somebody isn’t prioritizing you, put them on the back burner. Don’t waste your time with them and trying not to take a personally because they aren’t.

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