I try not to give advice as a single person…

Cup of hot tea and cookies outside

unless asked, however I met with an old friend last night and broke that rule. He was really confused on why his gf is jumping down his throat for everything including when she knew he was going to leave town for work.  After listening to him complain about all the changes, I realize she husband him. That’s why everything shifted.

They started out as friends.  People have different standers for friends, then when you are in a romantic relationship with them. That’s one of the reasons why transitions from friendship to relationships don’t always work.  That’s also the reason why a lot of the friends with benefits that try to becomes real relationships, don’t work out. What people want in a causal relationship is to just have fun, feels good, and no stress (Keyword: of a real realtionship), but their expectations/standers in a relationship is a lot different. Expectations changes, and when the honeymoon period is over, you realize that wasn’t really a relationship but an infatuation/fantasy.  This is pretty common with the current hook up generation.

When they became an official item, he travels a lot and it’s the main part of his job. She knew it, and she knew that he loves his job.  What shifted is that she said she didn’t want to have kids because of her age, but now she is naming their children.  Now she talks about when they get married. Then gets mad at him when she knows he is really busy working and doesn’t call her at his usually time.  I was like she husband you, that’s what changed. You need to figure out if that’s the path you want to go with her because she has your wedding planned, and you should have given her a ring yesterday.  I know because I have been that girl in my early 20’s but I grew out of it by my mid 20’s.

Relationships aren’t easy.  It now takes a lot of convincing to get me to cross that line. If you can impress me and break through that wall, you have my attention.  Keeping it, you will have to work on it but once you have it, I am loyal and dedicated. I’m the type of woman, if even if I think you are wrong and tell you, I will stand by your side and go to war with you. I am like that with my choose family, and my romantic partners.  It’s also the stander I set for my chosen family and romantic partners.

 

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